She has moments.
Moments when she has to take a step back.
Moments when she has to take a step back and cry.
She knows time is a funny thing, a funny, unkind thing. Time can make her believe that something is real, true, like a mirage. She’s so sure that her paradise is a few steps away, just a a few more steps and she’ll be happy and than poof. Its gone. That’s what time is, gone. Its always going, never stopping, never waiting for her to catch up.
Never waiting for her to catch up and catch her breath.
So she has moments
Moments where she takes a step back.
Moments where she takes a step back and cries.
It’s usually when she reaches the edge of her mirage. She gets to the plank plain, and realizes that there was or is no paradise.
Just more time.
It’s like a release, crying, it’s a release that takes away all the pain. She believes it will help, she hopes it will help. Because she’s actually unsure of what to do. keeps marching forward, keeps playing this game. This game that has been created since the beginning, well since the beginning of time itself. She knows that life isn’t a journey, no, it’s a game. A game she has to play.
And she feels like she is losing.
That’s why she takes a moment.
She steps back and takes a moment to cry.